Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Border Patrol Learns Points System!

Dateline: January 2008

The Agents of the U.S. Border patrol today began classes to learn the newly-enacted "points" system of allowing immigrants to the United States. Under the rankings system things such as education, job training, etc. will give the immigrant a leg up on those less-well-educated/trained.

Said one agent, "We feel this is quite a unique system. Under the plan we will not arrest or hold immigrants crossing the Mexican/U.S. border, but instead visit with each one of them and seek to give them their points rating which we will then hand to them on a printed card quite similar to a Social Security card." (Editor's note: it is rumored that soon the rating card will, in fact, allow immigrants to seek their own SS card!)

It seems the idea now is....do not stop these folk at the border, but insure that if they are later uncovered working without a permit, and not "Z" qualified they will hand the arresting officer their rating card and be judged accordingly.

"This new procedure allows us to get off the pesky task of trying hold the border and get on with bureaucratic implimentation of a completely phony and absolutely worthless smoke and mirrors method of preventing any actual border control," said the agent...who wishes to remain anonymous. "We don't have to worry now about transporting, holding, or enforcing. How very very refreshing."

When asked about the 20,000 additional border patrol agents promised by the Bush/Democratic immigration law the agent replied, "That's what's neat about this new approach....we don't actually need any more agents or any fences. Just bring em in and rate em!"

sarky-asm folks!!!!!!!